Perspective

Zander was sitting at the table eating yogurt today, learning how to use a spoon, intent on doing it himself. He was working very hard at getting the yogurt from the cup into the spoon and up into his mouth. Each time I messed with his food or interfered with his learning, I could see his frustration welling up. Finally, he tensed up and said "don't." Which sounds very cute coming from a 15 month old.

I stopped to ponder how important it was for him to say no, for him to set limits. He was letting me know that my constant interruptions were really messing him up! He was trying so hard to feed himself, and he wanted to succeed.

Years ago I would have thought that I needed to stop to teach him to who was in charge, to show him how to be respectful. Those things are important. They do need to be taught. But there is something more important.

Perspective.

Saying "don't" was not only very humorous, since I have never heard him say that before, but it was also a reflection of his intense personality. He was becoming exasperated as I was fussing over him, and he wanted me to stop. Another more placid child may have willingly let me interfere, desiring to please, or willing to learn by watching me. This little boy needed to learn by doing it, by grabbing the spoon and getting it to his mouth.

He will need a lot of teaching. We all do. But there is a time for teaching, and a time for learning. This time we were learning together. And I am happy to say that he did finish his yogurt, and when he was done, he looked very pleased.

And then, right after that, he brought his froggy rain boots and looked up at me asking for help with the look in his eyes. No words, just a look which said "mommy can you help me? I can't do this myself."

Precious, the dance of raising little ones.

I snapped a few quick pictures, and I really love this one. It reminds me that we need each other, and that we need perspective.

Here is one more picture of Mr. Zander who is now walking with a happy step!